


And I have to let you go, but I wish that you were here

by DelicateTaleOfBliss



Category: Take That (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Gary doesn't want to let go, M/M, Mark's wedding day, Romance, Secret Relationship, slight smut at the start, stag do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-29
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-04-11 22:20:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4454546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DelicateTaleOfBliss/pseuds/DelicateTaleOfBliss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I love Emma...I love Elwood and I love Willow, but that doesn't mean I love you any less. You will always be my soul mate."</p>
            </blockquote>





	And I have to let you go, but I wish that you were here

It's the night of Mark's stag do and there's no surprise when he ends up getting wasted and ending back at Gary's hotel room. With strict instructions of _"no strippers"_ by soon to be wife, Emma, she _never_ mentioned that he wasn't allowed to end up in his best mate's bed once again.

"Shhh." The blonde presses a finger against Mark's lips whilst holding him around the waist for support.

"Don't shush me, Mr Barlow." Mark's speech is slurred and his weight continues to fall against Gary, making the task incredibly difficult when trying to find the correct hotel room without getting papped by the lurking press, but somehow after thirty long minutes, they make it into the room in one piece.

Collapsing onto the bed together, deeply Gary sighs. "You're pretty pissed, Markie..." He points out as Mark decides to crawl up his body in an animal like way, nuzzling his nose against his shoulder blade.

"Still...still can't believe...you did all that...for _me_." Peppering kisses along Gary's jawline, his fingers immediately go to work at undoing the buttons on his friend's shirt. "...Can't believe...you got...Rob...to come." He hiccups whilst speaking, which only brings a smile to Gary's face.

"Anything to see you smile."

Gary finishes off unbuttoning his own shirt and shrugs it from his shoulders, now laying shirtless on the bed, he watches as Mark begins to strip himself. The sex isn't the only thing he's going to miss in this relationship, but he's also going to miss just spending time alone with Mark. They've known one another roughly for the past twenty years and now that they're both going to be married and have a family of their own, it's just going to make things ever more difficult, that is of course if it doesn't end their relationship completely. They've had their ups and their downs like any other ordinary couple, but they're not just some _other_ couple in this world. Sure they've been seeing one another in secret since the reunion which happened four years ago, but Gary hasn't felt happiness like _this_ in years. Now it's all going to end in a few hours, it's like having the rug pulled out from under his feet. Of course he has Dawn, his wife, who he loves a tremendous amount and also his children, but Mark will always be his soul mate...the love of his life, the person he could never have as a partner in public. At the very beginning of their relationship was tough, especially because of the band. They all needed to protect their image for the sake of their careers and that's when he fell in love with Dawn when the band came to an end, then with the years apart it led Mark to fall in love with Emma. If it wasn't for Mark asking Gary to help him write a few tracks for one of his solo albums in the early months of 2003, they wouldn't be here now, they wouldn't be here together in this very hotel room. If only Gary put his and Mark's relationship first in the nineties instead of his ego and career, tomorrow would of been _their_ day. "Over thinking again?" In an instant, Mark is back on the bed, now fully naked.

"Uh? Oh, no...no..." Hoarsely Gary speaks, running his palms down the centre of Mark's back and towards the top of his arse. "...Just...thinking about tomorrow...what I need to plan before you get-" A hand covers Gary's mouth, muting his words.

"No wedding talk. Tonight is about _us_ , OK?" Sternly Mark looks down into his eyes, whilst sitting into a more comfortable position on Gary's covered lap, lightly the blonde nods in reply. "Good." Removing his hand, he allows Gary to reach for the supplies from the bedside drawer, it's almost like this night was pre planned. Continuing to straddle him, Mark unbuckles the belt the best that he can, still feeling the alcohol swirl inside of his system. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to get so drunk, even if it is his stag do, tonight could possibly be the last time he has sex with Gary. It should be a night to remember not a night where he's waking up with a sore head and not remembering these precious moments with the person he would give his life up for.

Kicking away his trousers, he rips open the condom's foil packet with his teeth, not taking his eyes away from Mark's. "You're...so beautiful..." Softly he coos, admiring the man on top of him, noticing the way the golden light highlights his slim figure, showing the stunning features which he dreams about when they're apart. He's going to miss seeing this view almost every single night of his life.

Warmly Mark smiles and focuses his eyes. "...Make love to me, Gary..." Whispering out the simple words, lightly his fingers skim across the blonde's lips. Gary doesn't need telling twice, with a knot forming inside of his stomach, he realises how fast time is slipping away from them, so he swiftly begins to prepare himself. Discarding his briefs, he works his own cock, until Mark finishes off the job. Forming a fist around his hardening dick, Mark stares him deep in the eyes whilst thrusting his hand against his shaft, feeling it become harder by every passing minute.

"Oh fuck..." Gary curses under his breath, pushing the back of his head further into the pillows behind. Speeding up his actions, letting his hand run from tip to base several times, enough is enough. "J...Jesus...oh fuck...enough...enough, Mark." He grunts, feeling the butterflies flutter in the pit of his stomach. Mark knows exactly how to satisfy his needs, he always has done. Sitting upright so that their faces are just centimetres apart, Gary is first to close the gap. Firmly their lips press together and automatically Mark parts his lips by the feel of Gary's tongue brushing against them. Delicately Gary's tongue slides into Mark's open mouth, exploring every inch almost like it's for the first time, but knowing deep down it will possibly be for the last. He continues to hold him as close as possible against his body, refusing to let him go, and allowing their bare chests to press together, whilst their hearts beat in sync. The passionate kiss comes to a gentle stop as soon as Gary feels a hard cock pressing against his lower stomach. Wrapping a strand of Mark's hair behind his ear, they give one another one final smile before changing their positions.

Reaching for the lube from the table, he spreads Mark's legs apart using his knee. Squirting a liberal amount into the palm of his hand, he rubs it against Mark's entrance. "Oooh...mmm..." Humming by the coldness of the liquid against his hole, he wraps his legs around the back of Gary's waist. "N...need...you...so bad..."

Securing the condom onto his throbbing erection, he pecks Mark's lips for the final time before asking the well known question. "...Ready?" With a faint nod of the brunette's head, finally he pushes inside, slowly.

"F...Fuck...ohh..." Digging his nails into the top of Gary's spine, he pulls him closer as he feels him sink deeper. Once fully inside and the burning pain has become bearable, Mark arches his back slightly, giving Gary more access. "...Fuck me...hard."

Running his hands down the smaller man's body, they reach his hips and his eyes scan the inked animal which is placed diagonally above his dick. He tries to take in every single detail of Mark's body. Moving his hips slow but hard, he pushes in as far as possible before pulling all of the way out, causing Mark to loudly gasp. "...Are you OK?" Continuing his movements, a little harder, Mark's eyes roll to the back of his head and his fingers press deeper into Gary's skin.

Sucking Gary's bottom lip into his mouth, lightly he bites the skin and mumbles out the demand. "F...faster..."

Tucking his hands underneath Mark's body, he lifts him enough so he can easily move in and out, faster and harder, allowing Mark's cock to freely slap against his torso. "...So...so good..." Gary pants out against his face, planting kisses up and down his neck whilst feeling the wetness of Mark's cock against his burning skin.

"I...I'm...oh fuckin' hell..." Groaning inside Gary's mouth, he reaches between their bodies until Gary bats his hand away.

"Love you...so much..." Gary mumbles whilst stroking Mark with his free hand and moving as fast as he possibly can, feeling the hot muscles clench around his dick, pushing him closer towards his limit.

"I...I...love...oh...Gary! Gary!" Loudly Mark calls out over and over again, as his load spills into the palm of Gary's hand, sticking their naked torsos together like glue, Gary continues to pump out every last drop. "...Come in me...come in me, please..." Hearing the plead, Gary doesn't hesitate when pulling fully out of him. Tugging off the condom, carelessly he throws it over his shoulder before pushing deeply inside of him again. It only takes three more thrusts of his hips until he obeys Mark's wish, coming inside of him and he's crying out his lover's name in the most perfect high note ears have ever heard. Collapsing in a heap, the two exhausted men pant for their breathes back, whilst holding one another as tight as possible.

Gary cleans their naked sweating bodies using a box of tissues from the bedside table, whilst Mark's eyelids weakly open and close. Once clean, he pulls back the duvet and tucks Mark in next to him and places a kiss onto his lips. As soon as the used tissues have been discarded down the toilet, he joins Mark in the luxurious bed. Wrapping an around his friend's small frame, for the first time that they're in bed together, he's the last to fall asleep. Feeling Mark's chest rise and fall against his own, he watches as he cuddles up against his body, brushing his lips against his lightly scattered chest hair. A crack forms on Gary's heart over the sight. He isn't one for crying...well, maybe when a child is born or a family member passes, but certainly not after sex or whilst watching Mark sleep. This time tomorrow night Mark will be sharing this moment with Emma and Gary will be doing the exact same with Dawn, but there will be a piece of his heart missing during that moment. A piece no one could ever possibly fix...unless Mark is the one fixing it.

\-----------------------------------------

_**(Morning of the wedding)** _

If it wasn't for the call early this morning from James to let them know he would be picking them up at noon sharpish, they wouldn't of gotten out of bed at all. After sharing a shower together in Gary's hotel room, an hour and half later after waking up, they finally have got dressed. Standing in front of the mirror in the hotel room, Mark looks at himself from head to toe for about five minutes, until he's interrupted. "Finally dressed?"

"Er...yeah...just about." Trying to tie the white bow tie which hangs loosely around his shirt's collar, he fails multiple times. "Think I'm still hungover..."

"Here...allow me." Gary walks over to where Mark is standing. Tying the tie into a neat bow, Mark stares up at him, trying to get his friend's attention by placing his hands over the top of his.

"Gary."

Gary teeth immediately crash together by the serious tone of Mark's voice. "James will be here any minu-"

"Gary. Stop." Pulling their hands to waist height, gently he squeezes them together. "Look at me...please?" Gradually Gary's eyes meet his seconds later. "A...Are you...happy for me?" Instantly the blonde's mouth flies open, but Mark cuts him off. "... _Honestly._ Are you happy that I'm getting married today?"

It takes a while until Gary speaks again. After a long hard three minutes of thinking, the simple word rests on the tip of his tongue. Seeing the love and happiness, but also growing concern in Mark's eyes, prevents him from saying how he really feels. Mark has stood by him through the years, no matter what. No matter how much of a dick he was to him in the nineties when they first became a couple, choosing his career over the love of his life, Mark was always there for him when he needed a shoulder to cry on. Like for example, when his solo label got dropped and he spiralled into depression, Mark was with him in an instant, holding him and telling him everything will be OK and he was right. He's broken Mark's heart more than once, from the break up of their relationship to him marrying Dawn and starting a family with someone who was suppose to be Mark. Through it all, Mark's love has _never_ changed for him. And now it's about time he does the same for him. Today is Mark's wedding day, the day which is suppose to be the happiest day of your life. "...I...I'm...I'm happy for you, Mark. Truly...happy for you...and Emma. Honestly." It isn't a complete lie, because he _is_ happy that Mark has finally found someone who makes him happy and who loves him for him, even if he does still wish he was the one speaking the vows and sliding the ring onto Mark's finger today.

"You will always be the best thing that has ever happened to me, Gary Barlow." Reaching up to stroke Gary's unshaven cheek with the back of his hand, happily he breathes out a sigh of relief. Although he isn't convinced about Gary's happiness, he's relieved he's standing with him now, spending the last minutes of his unmarried life with his best friend.

\--------------------

_**(At the church)** _

"Mark? Mark, will you sit down, lad?" Gary jumps out from his seat and gently grabs hold of Mark's arm to stop him from pacing up and down the church hall. His top hat slides down his fringe and Howard chuckles at the state Mark's getting himself into.

"It's only been twenty minutes, mate. She's probably stuck in traffic." Jason pipes up and Mark's face turns pale by his words.

" _Only?_!" He squeaks. "I...I'm going to be sick, she isn't coming. She's stood me up!" Before Mark's able to dash to the nearest toilet, Gary tightens his grip, holding tightly to both of his arms.

"Why on earth would she stand you up? She... _she_ loves _you_ , Mark."

"...And there's quite a few fans and paps outside. I bet they've caused a few traffic jams!" Smartly Howard points out. It's probably the only sensible thing he's said today, which isn't a sexual joke about the honeymoon.

"...See. Besides, if she doesn't come...I'll have to marry you." Cheekily Gary winks, which Howard, Jason and Mark's brother - Daniel, chuckle at. To them it's a joke, maybe even Mark takes it as a joke, but deep down...there's a seriousness to it. Warmly smiling into Mark's eyes, their gaze is soon broken by the sound of music playing and the front doors of the church reopening. James stands beside one of the doors and nods into Mark's direction, silently telling him Emma has arrived. Letting go of one another, Gary repositions Mark's top hat for him and he straighten up his bow tie. Giving him one a final hug and a quick peck on the cheek, he mutters the final words into his ear. "Good luck...I love you."

Mark nods his head twice, it might look like a simple nod to the eyes around them, but growing up in a secret relationship there's been codes which have been created between the pair of them, just simple ways to say their love when words cannot be spoken to the public's ears. Taking his seat to the left hand side of Howard at the front of the hall, where Mark and Emma's families are sitting, another knot appears inside of Gary's stomach. Seeing Mark standing just inches away from him, he watches as the nerves continue to build up in his face and his fingers shake whilst his hands are pressed together.

 _If only_ , Gary continues to tell himself.

In seconds, Emma appears. Looking flawless in a white v- neck fitted dress topped off with a lace veil, Mark's lighten eyes up and glow immediately, soon becoming blurry from the water filling them. There's a look on Mark's face which Gary has _never_ seen before, sure he's seen many emotions of Mark's and many looks, but he's never been on the receiving end of this particular one. Feeling his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach, he forces out a smile when Mark's eyes are drawn over towards his parents who are sitting close to where Gary is.

  
The ceremony is going by fairly quick but to Gary it feels like it has been going on for years. Closing his eyes for a brief moment, he listens very carefully to Mark's vows. "I, Mark Anthony Patrick Owen, take thee, Emma Ferguson, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part..." Gary's mind trails off, picturing Mark speaking those vows to him, holding his hands and staring deep into his eyes. He's thankful Dawn isn't with him at this very moment, how could he cope hiding these emotions from his wife whilst watching the love of his life slip away from him so easily? Howard passes Mark the rings and with shaky hands he takes hold of Emma's correct finger, not taking his eyes away from hers. "This ring I give to you as a token of my love and devotion to you. I pledge to you all that I am and all that I will ever be as your Husband. With this ring, I gladly marry you and join my life to yours."

A tear manages to escape Gary's eye and drops onto his trouser leg. An elbow nudges him seconds later and he quickly pulls himself together the best that he can. Looking up, he notices Jason is holding his suit hanky into Gary's direction, with a faint smile present on his face. "Weddings, ay?" Softly he whispers. The blonde nods in reply and wipes away the loose tears, making his eyes look slightly red.

Minutes later and the words are spoken which Gary has been dreading ever since Mark announced the engagement. "Therefore, with the blessings of God, it is my pleasure to now pronounce you husband and wife. Congratulations Mr and Mrs Owen. You may now kiss the bride!" The newly wedded couple share a beaming grin, before leaning forwards and sealing their marriage with a tender kiss which last around five seconds. Holding onto one another tightly, Mark's chin rests on Emma's shoulder, with his eyes tightly closed, until they flicker open during the embrace. Immediately his eyes set onto Gary's, noticing the dry tears and his puffy eyes, Mark's heart feels like an anchor. Swallowing dryly, Gary reassures him with a light smile and joins in with the family members and friends with the cheering. The couple walk out first, hand in hand and ready to begin their new life together.

\----------------------

_**(The wedding after party)** _

"Just going to go outside for some fresh air, Jay. I wont be long. I'll be back before their first dance." Fanning himself with his hand, the castle like venue has turned into a sauna which is strange for Scotland. Walking outside, alone, the cool breeze blows against his face and he closes his eyes whilst inhaling the fresh air. It's been a day full of emotions both good and bad. Edging towards the rose garden which is a five minute walk away from the venue, Gary decides to sit down out of the way from any human contact and just have some quiet time, to collect his thoughts together.

"One sec, babe." Mark pecks Emma's lips quickly, whilst he makes a dash to where his band mates are seated.

"Ah ha! Here he is!" Howard grins up at the smaller man, before standing up and embracing him into a hug and patting his back as a sign of congratulations. "...Thought you two would of snuck off to the honeymoon suite for a bit of rumpy pumpy!"

"Howard!" Jason scolds his friend with a look of disgust, whilst hugging Mark. "Is there ever a time where you don't have sex on your mind?!"

"Don't pretend you don't like it, Jay."

"You're both as bad as each other." Playfully Mark rolls his eyes and notices there's a guest missing. "...Gaz in the er...loo?"

"Oh no, he went out for a bit of fresh air." Jason reaches for the jug of iced water and refills his glass.

"I don't bloody blame him." Howard butts in. "Have you got the heating on in 'ere, Mark? I know it's only Scotland but it feels like the fucking Sahara Desert!"

Mark loudly laughs over Howard's whining and even Jason chuckles and shakes his head at his friend. "I'll speak to someone about sorting the air con out. Then again it is November you should be happy there's warmth for once in Scotland!" The brunette pats his friend's shoulder and eyes up the open the door. "...Anyway...I'm going to see where Gaz has got to. He's probably phoning Mrs B, so I wont be too long."

As soon as he walks outside the front doors, he's greeted by a gust of wind which almost causes him to fall over. Good thing he left his hat indoors after all. Walking down the narrow pavement, it leads down towards the gardens. After a short walk, Mark arrives at the rose garden and he comes to an abrupt stop. Taking in his surroundings, he's amazed by the beauty of it all. The way the pink and red flowers spiral around the pillars, it almost looks like a painting which he's become part of. Mark's gaze is soon interrupted by a voice which makes his heart leap a mile. "Mark?" A blonde head appears from a bench beside the thick rose bushes.

"There you are..." Happily Mark breathes out his reply, instantly wrapping his arms around Gary's waist and nuzzling his nose into the centre of his chest. "...Thought you legged it."

"Huh? And stand you up on your wedding day? Never." Gary jokes, stroking Mark's back up and down whilst inhaling his scent. He feels safe, comfort and as strange as it sounds...home.

"...Are you OK?" Breaking the embrace, Mark's face hardens as he looks up at his friend with a serious look.

"I'm fine, Markie. What are you doing out 'ere? Your beautiful bride is inside waiting for you. Go on, cut your cake...I'm dying to try it."

Mark shakes his head and deeply sighs this time, taking Gary's hand in his, he forces him to sit back down onto the bench. "Stop this."

"Stop what?"

"This whole _'I'm only saying that I'm happy for you, just so I can see you smile and for you to be happy on your wedding day, when really I'm miserable as fuck._ ' I'm not buying it for a second, Gary." Friendship or loved filled relationship, Mark will always be able to read Gary like a book.

The blonde shrugs his shoulders and pulls his hands out from Mark's. "I've been a shit friend and an even shitter boyfriend, haven't I?"

"What makes you think that?"

Gary folds his arms across his chest and focuses his eyes onto anything other than Mark's. "I've put you through so much and never thought for one moment how you felt. And after today it hit me...I guess I finally understood how you felt when I married Dawn and how you felt when you lost me."

"Oh, Gaz..." Wrapping an arm around his shoulder, he moves closer to where he's sitting on the bench. "...You haven't lost me...and I haven't you lost you. We're married now...just sadly not to one another. We've got beautiful wives and gorgeous healthy children...and we've still each other...and that's how it will always stay. My love for you has never changed. Even if it does mean we're breaking our wedding vows...you can't help what the heart wants...happiness is the key in life. I love Emma...I love Elwood and I love Willow, but that doesn't mean I love you any less. You will always be my soul mate."

Nodding his head, one of the knots finally unravel inside of his stomach by Mark's words. "...I guess...if we're meant to be...it will happen, right?" Taking Mark's hands tightly into his own, his thumb traces the knuckles.

Mark's lips twitch into a smile, seeing Gary stroke the gold band on his finger. "One day...one day, Gaz." Dropping his head against Gary's shoulder, they remain seated whilst holding onto one another tightly.

 

 _Who know's what the future could bring..._


End file.
